Not sure if this is just because I’m hormonal or if it’s a combination of a lot of things or delayed effects of alcohol or what, but I just cried for like 30-45 minutes because I love my mother. I just love her. We fight. She frustrates me so much. I know she thinks I’m weird. I’m tired of her inability to be on time. But she is the best person, and at least once a week I treat her like crap. I lash out at her because of my own issues. I feel monstrous. I need to change myself to reflect just one third of the amazing love I feel for her. 

I love you mommy. 

So I recently got laid off.

I haven’t had a boyfriend since ever, and haven’t been on even a prospective date in 3 years. I’ve never been on a second date - not even once. At my age, it’s probably time to start collecting cats and letting people call me Auntie (except I dislike cats so it’ll probably be a bunch of cute doggies). The only men who try to approach me are jailbirds or old perverts. In other words, I’m forever alone. 

And this evening, I found out that I can no longer fit into the last socially acceptable dress size that I am used to fitting into. At the GAP. If you know anything about Gap, Inc (at least Gap and Old Navy), it’s that their clothes tend to run bigger than most other places. I don’t know when I got larger, but it happened. I’m officially a fat girl. 

I can’t live like this. 

artruby:

Tomas Saraceno’s work is coming to the roof of the Met this year on May 15.

What I would do if I won the lottery and never had to work again: 

• start a bunch of projects, and then when I get bored of them (which would be fairly soon because I have the attention span of Ryan Murphy), I’d turn the reigns over to someone who’d treasure them
• give money to some nonprofits
• pay off all my debts
• take some drawing lessons and draw stuff
• take singing lessons and sing stuff
• take extended trips to major US cities with my good friends
• buy more computers/technology
• invest some of it so I really never have to work again
• do some nice things for people in my family and my good friends
• play all day

Notice how none of this has a damn thing to do with a stable “career.” I’m worthless.

I’m trying to appreciate the fact that I have a job right now. I really want to keep this job for one more year. But honestly, only one more. For a long time, I’ve realized that I just don’t belong there. I work with a bunch of people who went to brand name universities and/or are extreme perfectionists/analysts. They are neat, disciplined and demand excellence and they are just what our organization needs right now. I have my own wacky systems that could never be called neat. I’m still trying to learn discipline and I’m perfectly fine with things below excellence - I was a solid B-B+ student my entire life. 

I feel useless and really, like I’m being more of a hindrance than a help there - and I already have shaky feelings about myself as a worker in the real world. Obviously, I know how to get beyond an interview, but once I do, I’m always failing somehow. My energy for the job saps pretty quickly. I get paranoid about how my co-workers and my bosses feel about me and then I dread going to work in the morning because all I can think about is how I’m going to disappoint or upset someone today.

I don’t know. I wish there was some other way of living, honestly. Every time I get a new job, it gets harder and harder for me to believe that I can be a real, productive adult. 

spacezine:

This is a true lifestyle, but don’t let it define you.

I see quite a few ‘incidental comics’ comics on tumblr without proper sources. It always makes me sad to see stuff online that isn’t credited. Ya’ll should take a look at their stuff. It’s cute.

Chord Overstreet Arm Appreciation Post ♥ -Part 3 | Part 1 & 2 

I didn’t miss anything. Will wait for the Sam gifs.